THE F-WORD GETS A WORKOUT - Monday's ride home

Yesterday afternoon was quite lovely.  It was warmer and there were only a few spots of rain and very little wind. I was  in the zone.

What started out as a nice ride home turned into one stress after another.  How many times did people try to kill me yesterday….let me count the ways…

The first idiot driver was a woman and she decided that merging onto Prince of Wales meant that she didn’t actually have to look at the oncoming traffic.  She just assumed that everyone would stop and let her stupid big SUV in.  Well let me tell you lady, you almost hit me and I had the right of way.  As she got closer and closer to my bike I smacked the side of her stupid big SUV to get her attention.  She stopped.

The second (and most sworn at) was the guy on Fallowfield who clipped my handlebars with his car.  The road was clear so I moved over into the turning lane and headed towards the red light.  The out of the blue a car hits my handlebars.  Good thing he wasn’t going faster or he could have sent me into the next lane and I would have been hit by traffic coming up in the next lane.  He rolled down his passenger side window when I got up next to him and I let him have it – “DO I NOT HAVE ENOUGH F’ING LGITHS ON MY BIKE?” (yes); “DO YOU SEE THAT IT’S A RED LIGHT WE ARE ALL AT?” (yes, I was just trying to get around you (on the left); “THAT WAS A STUPID F’ING THING TO DO – NEXT TIME STAY BEHIND THE F’ING BIKE AND WAIT YOUR TURN - - IT’S A RED F’ING LIGHT‼!”).  He waited until I got through the intersection before he turned onto Greenbank and then I passed him because he was in construction traffic.  Yah, you stupid f’ing idiot – you sure got there faster.

Oh, we are not done just yet.  My blood pressure was mounting – can you tell?  I was on the main drag getting ready to turn onto my street (all of which are 40 km/h) and I look behind me – all clear – move over closer to the middle of the street with my arm out to signal that I was turning (after the oncoming traffic went past) and I get honked at by the stupid f’ing speeder who had to slow down to go around me all so he could get to the stop sign before anyone else.  May I also say that the oncoming traffic was also speeding.  I lost it at this point.  It was getting dark (and I have lots of bright lights on my bike and backpack) and I let loose – “ARE YOU IN SUCH AN F’ING HURRY TO GO VOTE OR ARE YOU JUST F’ING STUPID????”  I did not feel the need to apologize for my language to the people out walking their dogs.